Hey my lovelies
Hope you are all ok on this dreary dark day, get a cuppa settle down for a wee read and hope you enjoy it
As I sit here just back from my weekly weigh in, the first for 2015, things feel different. I feel different. I will take you back some years, to I was a kid, I was always chubby but when I went to uni I put the bulk of my weight on, I met my amazing husband and we fell into that content state of takeaways, drinking and snacking between lectures.
I fell ill in 2004/2005 and it was decided I would have to come home to Ireland, I took epilepsy and subsequently took M.E and Fybromyalgia after a serious chest infection. Things weren’t good and I turned to food to cope. I had a lot of demons to deal with from my childhood and with the depression came a dependency on food, I had the most amaxzing friends, fiancé and mum and dad but I still fell into a deep depression and dealt with a lot of it by comfort eating.
I have struggled for as long as I can remember with my weight always losing a couple of stone then gaining it back, now as I sit here I am not the heaviest I have been but I have been up and down past few weeks.
Scott and I are eagerly awaiting fertility treatment and the BMI guidelines for this is 30 which is a long way away for me, and the thoughts that went through my head after the accident about my weight was crazy. All I could think of was, what if I had of needed an emergency op the risks would have been massively high.
This leads me to today the 7th January, things feel different, I have realised that I am in control of my destiny I am in control of my fertility treatment and I am in control of the risks of operations etc. Its time to think about where I want to be in 2015 and I can assure you I don’t want to be the way I am. My weight thankfully doesn’t hinder me in terms of getting around, walking and doing things, it is the spinal issues that do that, but in the grand scheme of things, the weight in the long run will do my body damage. My mums side of the family all had heart disease and this is something that weighs heavy on my heart.
I have an amazing leader at my weight watchers class, she has just recently taken over our class and it is the motivation I need, she is motivational and inspiring!
As I finish this post off, all I can say is that I want 2015 to be my year, no 2015 WILL be my year!
I will post updates on here and in my youtube channel, heres to a happier healthier me!!
If anyone is struggling with their weight, come say hello and lets support each other on this crazy journey. I will be updating every week over on my twitter and facebook page so check those out!
Here is a picture of me at my best friends wedding a few months ago, this is around the same weight I am today, i have wavered back and forth since then, I never want to be like this again!
Love you all